Cliveden Revisited

Eyes down, everyone - it's time for some more Scone Stats! Ever since I completed the National Trust Scone Quest back in March, I've been playing around with the data I'd gathered over my 10 years of scone eating - see my post on Which UK Counties Serve The Best Scones? for a taste of the important questions I've been able to answer.

Today I decided to crunch the numbers to solve a conundrum that has been plaguing me for ages, namely: are the most popular National Trust properties actually more likely to serve a lower quality scone? Are you more likely to find a great scone at a property that gets fewer visitors?

It's a shocking thought, I know. And it obviously doesn't stack up. Surely the bigger NT properties have more visitors, so they have better facilities and more staff, which means the scones should be better than the ones at smaller places?

But the evidence against the larger properties started unexpectedly accumulating back in 2014. I was only 10 months into this project when I went to Cliveden in Berkshire. It was (and is) a beautiful place, but I got into a Rumplestiltskin-esque rage about the miniscule scone that I was served (see original blog post about that first Cliveden scone experience.) 

The 2014 Cliveden scone. Get your microscopes out.

My rage against the Cliveden scone took on a new intensity, however, when I later discovered the National Trust annual report. In these annual reports, the NT includes the visitor numbers of properties with more than 50,000 visitors. The order of the properties changes every year (and dramatically so during COVID) but as far as I know, Cliveden has always been in the top five. In the 2021/2022 annual report, for example, Cliveden was the NT's second most popular property with almost 554,000 visitors. 

How? HOW? How could one of the biggest NT properties be serving up disappointing scones? It didn't make sense. 

So with 10 years of data in front of me, I decided to delve in and see if this was a wider issue or a one-off.

I have three pieces of analysis to share with you. Let's start  by looking at the top 5 NT properties that had the most visitors in 2021/2022 and what I scored them for their scone:

1. Attingham: 4 out of 5 (in 2015)
2. Cliveden: 3 out of 5 (in 2014)
3. Dunham Massey: 4.5 out of 5 (in 2015)
4. Clumber Park: 5 out of 5 (in 2017)
5. Calke Abbey: 4.5 out of 5 (in 2016)

Conclusion: The really popular properties could improve on their scones. Only one of the top 5 properties scored a 5. One (Cliveden) scored badly. But the other scores aren't dismal. And you have to take into consideration that all of the larger places were reviewed in the first four years of the quest.

Let's move on to analysis number two. Here I've worked out the average scone score for all of the properties that I visited that should have been able to provide a scone, divided into two groups:

• Group 1 - properties with over 50,000 visitors that are listed in the report: average scone score 4.4
• Group 2 - properties not listed in the report as they have fewer than 50,000 visitors: average scone score 3.7

Conclusion: The average scone score suggests that the most visited properties do actually provide better quality scones - the most visited properties had an average score of 4.4, compared with 3.7 in the properties with fewer visitors.

And finally, what percentage of the properties served a 5-star scone? Are visitors more likely to find a top class scone at the more popular places?

• Percentage of properties with over 50,000 visitors that scored a 5 for their scones: 48%
• Percentage of properties with fewer than 50,000 visitors that scored a 5 for their scones: 35%

Conclusion: Here we see compelling evidence that the more popular properties are more likely to serve a 5-star scone, with almost half of them doing so. In comparison, just over a third of less-visited properties were able to provide the top class scone that we all live for.

Overall verdict: the most popular National Trust properties tend to serve the best scones and Cliveden was just an outlier.

BUT! We also have to consider the timing of my visits. All of the top 5 scones were reviewed by me in the first four years of the quest. Had things changed in the years since?

On the 9th anniversary of my first visit to Cliveden, I decided to go back and find out if there had been any improvements.

Reader, the improvement was enormous. The Cliveden cafe is still one of the very nicest in the whole of the National Trust, with a really impressive array of cakes and a choice of scones. As ever, I stuck to the fruit scone and was delighted to see that it was about twice the size of the 2014 specimen.   

The 2023 Cliveden scone - a beauty

But to truly appreciate the difference, you need to see a side-by-side comparison, which I have provided below: 

I think you will agree that progress had been made.

Trusty research assistant providing adjudication on top scone quality

Cliveden itself is a stunning property. You can read about Cliveden's scandalous history in my first post so I won't repeat it here. The house is a hotel today so you can't wander in waving your NT membership card but the extensive grounds are enough of a reason to visit.  

I won't be starting a series of 'Where Are They Now And Have They Improved The Scones?' as I only ever had a handful of disappointments over the 10 years of my project, so it wouldn't make a very good series. But I'm glad I did the analysis - it means I can stop my annual rant against the Cliveden scone.

Cliveden

FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY I made it to Cliveden! Woo-hoo! Every single time I've suggested going there, my other half has vetoed it for no reason other than he "doesn't feel like it". He was only two when the Profumo scandal broke, so it's unlikely that he's hiding any involvement in it. 

And let's face it, Cliveden will always be known for the Profumo affair. On balance I'd say it has been a positive thing for them - saying "I'm off to a wedding at Cliveden - you know, the Profumo scandal" carries an air of sophistication about it, compared to "I'm off to a wedding at Cliveden - you know, the plutonium leak" or "you know, where that serial killer hid all the bodies." 

ANYWAY. You can't just wander into the house at Cliveden as it's now an extremely posh hotel. I did try to persuade His Reluctancy to stay over (in the name of research) but he baulked at £462 a night. 

But it doesn't actually matter - the Cliveden estate is huge and there's plenty to look at. Here are three highlights:

1. The Parterre - the South Terrace of the house is huge and it overlooks the magnificent Parterre Garden. It was first created by gardener John Fleming during the residence of the Duchess of Sutherland, which began in 1849:

 2. The Borghese Balustrade & The Cliveden Snail - the sculpture in the Parterre (see picture above) was brought to Cliveden from the Villa Borghese in Italy by William Astor in 1896. National Trust Guidebook Factoid of the Week: in 2004, a colony of Mediterranean snails was found living on the Balustrade - they must have been stowaways when it was imported and somehow the colony has managed to survive for over a hundred years. Let's hope Nigel Farage doesn't find out.

3. The Maze - William Astor first created the Maze in 1894 but by the 1950s it was a forgotten mess. The National Trust recreated it and it was opened in 2011 by Alan Titchmarsh. I don't know why this amuses me - Alan is the John Fleming of our times after all, although I don't think John had a chat show.

But there are loads of other sights - you could easily spend a whole day there. The Fountain of Love for example:

And the very spectacular Water Garden:

There has been a house at Cliveden since 1666, although a couple of them have burnt down. The building you see today was designed by Charles Barry for the Duchess of Sutherland in the mid 19th century. 

In 1906, William Astor gave Cliveden to his son and daughter-in-law, Waldorf and Nancy Astor, whose connections in political, literary and artistic society because known as The Cliveden Set. Nancy was an incredible woman - she was the first female MP for one thing and Nancy: The Story of Lady Astor is well worth a read.

In 1961, Waldorf and Nancy's son Bill had inherited Cliveden, Waldorf having died in 1952. Bill rented a cottage on the estate to the osteopath Stephen Ward, who entertained friends there, including a Soviet naval attache called Yevgeny Ivanov and call-girls Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice-Davies. Bill also liked entertaining and one evening he and his guests, which included John Profumo, the Secretary of State for War, crossed paths with those of Stephen Ward. Profumo began an affair with Keeler, who was also involved with Ivanov, and the whole thing blew up into the mother of all scandals in 1963. Profumo had to resign, the Prime Minister Harold MacMillan went 7 months later, and the Conservatives lost the next election.

(Factoid Not In The National Trust Guidebook: Mandy Rice-Davies is famous for a quip she made in court, when asked why the man she claimed to have had an affair with had denied it - "well he would, wouldn't he?". That man was Bill Astor.)

Moving on though, Cliveden definitely wins the award for Most Innovative and Possibly Most Bonkers Fundraising Idea Ever. The South Terrace at the back of the house is in urgent need of repair - I was walking across it, admiring the amazing views, when I read a sign that said 'this terrace is basically falling to bits' so I scootled off it quite quickly and boggled at the extent of the works: 

They need a lot of money to Save The South Terrace but they're not raising it with a second hand book stall or a sponsored walk. No, the people at Cliveden have built a massive temporary slide on the side of the house and you pay £2 to come down it: 

I have to say, I absolutely love the idea. It seems to me that it's very much in keeping with the spirit of Nancy Astor, in that it's very bold and from what little I know of her, she wasn't a woman for small gestures. I wasn't there long enough to see anyone using it, although there were a few toddlers eyeing it up.

The Cliveden scone
Cliveden also wins another award, this time for the smallest scone yet seen on the National Trust Scone Odyssey. A cream tea cost £4.25, which isn't the most expensive I've encountered, and I bet you'd pay a LOT more in the hotel, but even so - it felt a little bit measly. It wasn't the greatest scone in the world either - it wasn't very fresh and it somehow seemed a bit soggy. BUT! There WAS a choice of jam! And The Orangery is a smashing place to rest your weary legs when you're parterre-d out - I could have sat there all day.

There was a distinct lack of Profumo-inspired souvenirs in the shop, which was a shame as I'd have liked a 'What Would Christine Keeler Do?' mug. But I definitely recommend that you fit in a trip to Cliveden as soon as you can. It's like Waddesdon Manor, in that it's utterly magnificent and you have to see it to believe it. Plus, at which other National Trust property can you go on a massive slide? 

Cliveden: 4.5 out of 5
Scone: 3 out of 5
Opportunity to go 'Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!': 5 out of 5

Basildon Park

Fact: I am the only woman in the UK over the age of 30 that has never watched a single episode of Downton Abbey. I don't know why - I like my Sunday night distractions as much as anybody (ask me anything about Monarch of the Glen) but Downton passed me by.  

Basildon Park was one of the locations used in the Downton Christmas special this year, so I expected it to be full of people saying things like "ooh look Dennis, this is where Bates threatened Lord Rinkydink-Pinkpantherton's valet with a soup tureen" or "this must be the desk where Lady Grantham got the news about Cousin Squiffy having that terrible accident playing bridge in upstate New York" (I don't even watch it and I know the names). 

And indeed, there were A LOT of Downton fans there today and they surely weren't disappointed. Basildon played the part of the family's London home and in every room there are pictures showing the various scenes that were filmed there. Here's Shirley MacLaine's dress in the dining room, for example:

There was also an exhibition room dedicated to Basildon's Downton fame, with a video explaining where the various scenes were shot and which bits of furniture got a starring role:

Basildon Park was also used in Dorian Gray and in the worst-actress-in-the-world-Keira-Knightley version of Pride & Prejudice. I don't blame them for using it as a film location, as it's a beautiful place. The house is built out of Bath stone, so it has that lovely warm glow to it, and the grounds are really welcoming - there were picnic tables everywhere, and kids and dogs jumping about and having a nice time.

Inside, it has some stunning rooms - the Octagon Room in particular was wonderful. I could easily have plonked myself on the sofa and stayed there for hours.

Most important of all: Basildon is WARM. I thought it was the law that stately homes have to be freezing but Basildon is warm as toast. The reason for that probably belongs in its history:

• In 1952, Basildon House was practically derelict
• It had been used during the Second World War for housing troops and prisoners of war and it was in a sorry state
• Lord and Lady Iliffe bought it and restored it with astounding dedication, creating a home that was filled with period furniture and fittings that they bought at auction and from other stately homes 
• Basildon had originally been built between 1776 and 1783 for Francis Sykes, who had made his fortune through the East India Company before being investigated for corruption
• His son and grandson frittered away the family fortune and it was bought by James Morrison, who had made his money in haberdashery
• After his daughter died it was put up for sale and was almost demolished before the Iliffes saved it
• In 1978 it was given to the National Trust by the marvellous Iliffes

We didn't get to see the top floor as it was shut due to a volunteer shortage, which was really disappointing. However, what we did see made it well worth the visit.

The Basildon Park scone
The tearoom is actually inside the house, which is always a bit special, and the scones were OK - they were tasty but a bit on the dry side. 

So in conclusion, you don't need to be a Downtonite to enjoy Basildon Park - for a picnic on a sunny day, you'd be hard pushed to find anywhere nicer.

Basildon Park: 4 out of 5
Scones: 3.5 out of 5
Chances of me converting to Downton Abbey: 0 out of 5 (sorry)